When I decided I was going to do this, I knew two things: I wasn’t going to get this crap on my hands and I wasn’t going to hurt my back doing it.

For my first attempt, I fashioned a spike with a long nail on the end of a broom handle that I would use to stab the trash and hoist it into a 5-gallon bucket I already had. This failed for two reasons: First, it wasn’t very effective and there was a lot of trash I couldn’t grab with it. Second, I felt very self-conscious walking up and down my street with what was essentially a weapon in my hands.

My tools now include:

• My 5-gallon bucket, around which I’ve used duck tape to create a little pouch that holds…
• A small plastic dustpan and broom that I happened to find in the basement. This works for pieces of glass I encounter.
• A spring-operated grappler that I found for $10 at Home Depot.
• Latex gloves. When it’s a hot day, I’ve learned, you must take care when removing the gloves or you’ll be sprayed with the sweat that’s accumulated around your hands. Bleah.